Episode 6: Finding what lights you TF up!

Ever wondered why you couldn't seem to NAIL what lights you up? While there might be a chance that it's "you, not them" - there's also a bigger chance that you're just not in an environment that celebrates who you truly are. When you start owning yourself 100% - and celebrating what makes you, YOU - aka a powerful Black Sheep who's ready to conquer the world - everything falls into place and yes - you'll find what exactly it is that lights you up.

Hope you enjoy this episode!

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Transcript

Real AF Episode 6
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Welcome to Real as Fuck, the official podcast of the Black Sheep Collective, a haven for those who dare to be different. And I'm your host, Elise Kennedy. We talk about all things love, life, relationships, business, and everything in between, but with a Black Sheep mentality. Here's to celebrating your unique, authentic selves and remembering that being a Black Sheep isn't a burden.

It's your fucking superpower.

Hey everyone, welcome to today's episode. And again, this is something that is completely spontaneous and it so happens that everybody in this house is already asleep. So I actually have the free time to yap around about what suddenly entered my mind. So for today's episode, I wanted to talk about what Lights you up [00:01:00] as a person and how is that related to being a black sheep?

So in my experience I Was employed by the time I graduated from college and imagine I was 20 years old didn't really have You know, any kind of guidance whatsoever as to what kind of job I should be getting myself into. And it so happens that my older sister worked at a very prestigious, you know, global company.

And I'm like, okay, whatever, I'll give it a shot. And in a course of, let's say, maybe 12 years, I was in and out of jobs where I was I would last between maybe six months to my longest job was actually with my very first one and that lasted for about four [00:02:00] years. And it wasn't that I couldn't really hold a job in a sense, but I think I just really struggled to find exactly what it was that lit me the fuck up.

And To relate that to being a black sheep, you know, when you're a black sheep, it just, it's so hard to find your tribe, find where you're, you know, supposedly fitting in. Um, I don't know if you're like me, but in my experience, I would always kind of get in with the cool kids. with a cool kids club. And then afterwards, for some reason, it turns out like they weren't really that cool at all.

And then I would become the subject of whatever it was that they didn't like. Um, so it was a, it actually became a cycle that I noticed since I was in [00:03:00] preschool, elementary, like I would always be associated with the popular kids at the beginning. And then afterwards, for some reason, I don't know if I would do something that just Struck a, struck a nerve, um, or if I would show my weird side, if I was weird, I guess, um, when I get overly, you know, not really confident, but comfortable, there you go, because you think that you found your tribe.

And, Distinctively, when I was in college, I was with this all girl group, and it was so amazing that we would always eat at a Kenny Rogers that was across our university, and you know, we called it Tuesdays with Kenny, and then all of a sudden, the same thing happened. They started literally pretending like I didn't fucking exist to the point that the three of them would just up and [00:04:00] leave and not even say anything to me.

And only one of them had the guts to actually tell me what was going on because it was like night and day. It wasn't even like a slow burn. What happened was all of a sudden it was like the next day they decided, fuck this bitch. I don't want to talk to her. Um, and it was the cold shoulder. Like literally and so it was yeah, that was like the story of my life where it became a cycle Whether I was still studying I was already working Whatever it was.

I would always start out so great and then all of a sudden I would be the subject of what people are either gossiping about or they really dislike. And I guess the biggest blessing in disguise was my last job when I was bullied really heavily, and I'm not [00:05:00] exaggerating, um, it's literally like online bullying at its finest.

And I had what I think was a panic attack. I couldn't even open my laptop. I didn't want to switch it on because every time a Slack message would come through or a Viber message would come through, I'd be petrified to open it because it came to a point where my very own manager was, you know, rubbing elbows, elbows, shoulders.

What's that term? Anyway, she was like basically close friends with the people who had been bullying me. And that sucked, you know, and if you feel like you're so disempowered and you have no one else to talk to you, you know, the most that you can do for yourself really is to take matters into your own hands.

And I think that's what being a true bona fide black sheep Really is an empowered black sheep really is [00:06:00] and that's what I did. I took power into my own hands. Um, I went straight to HR And you know, they they basically bought me Out of my resignation, which was amazing and that gave me two weeks to kind of think about what I really wanted to do in life And two of my best girlfriends like kept pushing me to start my own business.

And you know what? I was like, okay, what the fuck? If I don't get this other job that I'm applying for, then I'm just meant to do business. Let's try it. Whatever that means for me. And then that's what happened. And so, I finally found that thing that lights me up, and it was in correlation with really, truly owning me being a black sheep, and I think this is the message that I really want to impart to people, is that [00:07:00] when you finally step into your own power, when you finally Accept yourself, and not just accept yourself, but like really celebrate yourself and really own being unique and different and being a black sheep and, and really own that and turn that into something extremely powerful and positive.

You will actually start redirecting yourself. Your life is actually going to start falling into place. Things will start to fall into place in your life that Are truly meant for you. You'll start probably letting go of people. You'll start realizing. Oh, maybe, you know, these work friends that I have aren't really true friends and they're just there.

They're just work friends. Um, and then you'll start realizing [00:08:00] what it like who you really are as a person, what your values are, the principles that you hold dear. And then you'll realize, okay, this is probably why Okay. I didn't fit in in these circles or I couldn't hold a job was because I was meant to stand out and not fit in and I was meant to actually do something on my own, make my own rules.

Be my own boss. Choose the people that I work with. Because when you're employed, fuck all. You can't choose your manager, right? I guess the best you can do, really, is to switch teams, which I did before. Which I constantly did before, actually. But then, if the company culture that They're promoting is still not aligned with your values.

It [00:09:00] doesn't matter if you're on a social media team, a marketing team, SEO team, whatever it is. It doesn't matter which team you're part of, but if it's a culture that is rotten to the core, there's no other way to say it, then it's just It's not gonna happen, dude. It's just not going to pan out for you.

It's not gonna be a happy ending for you. And that's exactly what happened to me. It's, it made me realize that there wasn't anything wrong with me. Because at first you're gonna think that okay, maybe it's me. Maybe it's yourself. You're gonna start gaslighting yourself. You're gonna start fucking putting yourself down.

And you're gonna start thinking, okay, maybe it really is me. Maybe I'm the problem. Because everyone else has a problem with me. There is a possibility that that's the case, but if it's more of a matter of you have [00:10:00] really have zero clue, like you think you're still, you're, you're doing everything right and still it's, it's wrong in people's eyes.

And that's exactly what happened with my last job. I wasn't even trying to suck up to bosses or whatever. I was just doing what I'm doing, and it's just in my nature to always go above and beyond, and people fucking hated me for it. They all thought that I was being a suck up, and I was trying to impress my bosses from the States when I'm, I'm like, It's not my fault I talk like this.

I'm sorry if I speak like this. Sorry if I sound like an American. I don't know, like, it's like they hated me for being a Filipino who sounded Like our bosses and I could actually get their humor and I could speak to them and not have a difficult time conversing with them to a point that there was actually somebody Someone was just talking to me and I was making conversation and this person would [00:11:00] always At that time when I was with someone else this person will always say Oh, yeah, your boyfriend does this right or your boyfriend blah blah blah like she would always Um, advertised that I was with someone when I'm not even flirting with these people.

I'm literally just making conversation and talking to them. But for some reason, I think this person felt a little threatened. I have no idea. But anyway, um, the point is, once you really start owning your individuality and you stop thinking that there is something wrong with you, and maybe it's just. the environment that you're in, right?

That signifies that, okay, this is the reason why you're not thriving. Sometimes it's the environment, you know, when you, and I always use this analogy, when you have a plant, [00:12:00] you don't necessarily think, oh, the plant's just fucked up, right? When the, when the plant isn't thriving, when you notice that the leaves are starting to turn yellow, what do you do?

You either cut the leaves and then what you do, you either water it more, you water it less, or you change the location of the plant. Right, or worse comes to worst, you actually repop the whole plant because the soil was probably not so great. Um, you know, you've, you feel like you've done everything and that would be your, your last option.

And so when you look at that analogy, it's not really the plant's fault, but it could have just been the state, the environment that it was in. And it's the same with every other fucking human being on this planet. You're not thriving in a community or in a job. Not necessarily because it might be your fault.

I mean, sure, there's that possibility, but [00:13:00] there is also that chance that you are just in an environment that isn't aligned with you, that isn't really celebrating you as a human being. And I always say that, you know, you're worth celebrating, not just being accepted. Because for me, when someone accepts you, it's more of like a resignation.

It's more of someone just gave up and said, you know what, I just accept you for who you are, but I don't want that. I want people to be celebrated because what makes you different, what makes you weird, what makes you unique, that's exactly what you should be celebrated for. So yeah, I'm going to leave you with that.

Oh, look at that. We're doing it under 15 minutes now. Awesome. But yeah, I mean, I just felt inspired to give out this message that, you know, if you're in a situation that does not light you up, even in relationships, you know, um, if some people would say, why do I always attract cheaters? Why does this always happen to me?

Well, maybe it's because you're allowing yourself to be [00:14:00] in situations that just don't celebrate who you are and you just need to be with somebody that celebrates. You. You being weird. Like for example with me and my husband, I fucking love him. All the weird things about him, like his humor, I completely get and he also gets my humor.

Okay, I can be the most corny, oh my gosh, like downright dad joke corny person and he gets it and he and I are just on the same wavelength in that regard that we can just laugh and you should be in relationships and environments like that where you can just laugh. stupid, silly with people that you are 100 percent comfortable with and that you can totally feel, you know, yourself with.

So yeah, I hope that this message inspires anybody who listens to it. I hope that, you know, you can, this inspires you to [00:15:00] quit that job. Of course, have a backup plan. Okay. You know, quit that job, start that business, just quit that relationship. If you're still living with your parents and they're toxic as fuck.

Leave that environment. Um, anything that doesn't serve you, I mean, come on guys, life is short. It's 2025 literally in 28 days, at least if you're here in Japan. It's, you have less than a month, a brand new year is coming. And I hope you start your new year right. That's it. Thank you so much for listening.

And remember, being a black sheep is your fucking superpower. Bye.